Details in the Fabric
by dreaming-of-tonight
Summary: Tony has her necklace. Ziva has his favorite shirt. There's a long road ahead, but one day their love will bring her home into his waiting arms.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: if i owned it, Ziva wouldn't have even left.**

**A/N: This started off as a short little drabble, but I think I'll expand it into a longer story if people want more. **

**Rated T for now, but that'll probably change to M later.**

**Inspired by "Details in the Fabric" by Jason Mraz.**

* * *

_Everything will be fine_  
_Everything in no time at all_  
_Hearts will hold_

* * *

It had been six days since he had left. Six days since she had made her peace with the remnants of whatever bits of her past that Israel held for her, and she was ready to leave it behind for good. She felt lighter and freer, like the invisible weights on her shoulders had been lifted, and she could now breathe on her own without the fear of her past sneaking up and snatching it away. Now it was time to do something for herself, to re-discover, to explore…to _live_. To experience the things that had been taken and warped into the mold Mossad and her own father had required her to fill. But she missed him terribly...she hadn't even bothered to make the bed after he had gone, and the sheets remained rumpled even a few days later when she left, still smelling of him and her and _them_ and it made her a little teary-eyed just thinking of how long she now had to live without him.

Exhausted both physically and mentally, Ziva stumbled into the Parisian hotel room in the wee hours of the drizzly Saturday morning, tossed her duffel bag onto the bed, and flopped down next to it, glad that she had the next week to enjoy the city as a tourist, and not on an assignment, as it had been on her previous French escapades. Her most recent visit had been a little different, however, and as she searched through her bag for pajamas, she couldn't help but remember falling asleep tangled in her co-worker that one night, and letting him hold her through the nightmares of Somalia that had been so fresh in her dreams and on her body.

That was the night that Ziva was absolutely certain that she loved him.

An unknown piece of fabric grazed her hand just then, dragging her from her memory, and with curious eyes, Ziva searched the depths of her bag.

What she found caused her breath to hitch and a gasp to spill from her lips.

Folded neatly among her other articles of clothing was his favorite old t-shirt, and she closed her eyes and lifted it to her face, letting the smell that was oh-so-similar to those Israeli sheets in that house by the orange grove and to the covers on that twin bed in DC engulf her senses.

She could almost feel him, could almost imagine that he was right there with her, his strong arms around her, _holding_ her, _securing_ her from those nightmares that had once plagued her mind. She could almost hear his whispered words of comfort, could almost feel his delicate touches, those caresses that made her shiver and snuggle further into his warmth in the glow of the Eiffel Tower that had been right outside their window.

She remembered always borrowing this very shirt when they went out on assignment together, and always took pride in the fact that he remembered to pack it every time they traveled. _Los Angeles. Paris. Colombia. Italy. Berlin._

_Oh, Berlin._

And now, here it was. Like the necklace she had given him, the faded Ohio State lettering and impossibly soft cotton fabric bound their promise to each other, reminding her that she would see him again. It wasn't over for her, and now she knew that wouldn't be over for him any time soon. She would work through her demons and then run home and into his waiting arms so they could share the forever they had both wished for.

She slipped out of her clothes then, and pulled the shirt on over her bare body, her eyes closing at the familiar feel of the shirt against her skin, and the smile never left her face.

They would be okay.

**The next chapter will be longer, I promise. I just wanted to kick this off and see if people liked it! Drop me a review and let me know what you think.**

**-Laura**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, so many hits on Chapter 1! Thanks! Here's Chapter 2!**

**disclaimer: disclaimed**

**-all lyrics at the beginning of each chapter will belong to a different song...the first two chapters are from 'Details in the Fabric' by Jason Mraz, which was the ultimate inspiration for this story-**

* * *

_Hold your own_

_Know your name_

_And go your own way_

* * *

The last six days had passed in a blur for one Special Agent DiNozzo. He didn't really remember the events between his plane ride home and returning to his work desk, but he was pretty sure that there had been alcohol and depressing music involved, because his head hurt like hell and his mood was anything but cheerful.

And now that he was back, Tony refused to look at the empty desk across from him. Those times his eyes would accidentally stray in that direction was bad enough, but looking purposely would mean remembering, and remembering wasn't a good idea right now. Not when they had work to do.

Her necklace had found a home in his top desk drawer, and he figured that it was the best place for it. He didn't want to lose it or risk someone seeing it around his neck, and this way, if he felt lonely, he could sneak a glance at it and get lost in the temporary feeling of hope it provided...it was just enough to get him to suck it up and continue working. He knew Ziva never went without her necklace, and the fact that she had given it to him meant something bigger than Tony could describe. They were connected this way, through that little gold star, in much of the same way they were through the shirt he had left her. His hand found the cool metal of the drawer handle, and there it was, shining up at him.

A sad smile fell across his features when he saw it, and he knew by this point Gibbs and McGee were probably growing suspicious of his frequent desk drawer tendencies, but he didn't care. At least he didn't stare across the room at her desk, mouth half-open like a moron, which he had done the entire first day he had been back at the office.

As Tony shut the drawer, he began to wonder if she had found his shirt yet. The little smile grew to a bigger one at the very thought of her wearing it. He had actually slipped it into her bag the day he had arrived in Israel and found her, because it was almost a tradition to do so by this point. He always enjoyed watching her slip it on over her bra and panties before bed, and in those rare moments that they were left with a bed to share, he always caught her snuggling deeper into the shirt. He liked to think she liked how it smelled, how it felt against her skin, because that's how he felt about her when she lay wrapped in his arms during those nights that were just too damned short for his liking. He began to get caught up in her memory again, and he felt himself falling, _falling_, and there she was, smiling, beckoning him closer, holding him tight...

"DiNozzo, snap out of it." Gibbs barked from his desk, and Tony shook his head to clear the thoughts from his head, and his eyes fluttered shut. He knew Gibbs understood how he felt, hell, the Bossman probably knew exactly what he was thinking about that second, but the man sure did have a funny way of showing it. And not in his normal, semi-emotionless, coffee drinking machine, _Gibbsian_ persona, but in a way that made Tony feel like the red-headed step-child. He had never felt that way around the man before. What had changed?

He could feel the man's eyes on him as he stood, and Tony muttered something about coffee before heading for the elevator. _Air_, that's what he needed. He needed some breathing room.

It was rather gloomy outside, and even thought Tony had never really intended to stop by the coffee cart, he found himself walking the familiar route to the stand, and it was only after he payed that he realized he'd bought two drinks...both of their usuals. It had become such a habit to buy her a coffee a couple of times a week that now he did it completely unconsciously, and damn everything if that wasn't the most messed up thing ever.

A chilly breeze sent tingles down his spine as he plunked down on a rather uncomfortable metal bench, and he fished his phone out of his pocket. He smiled grimly at his phone background...a picture of them he'd taken about this time last year, when things were happy, and things between them had shifted...closer? Yes, closer, much closer. He'd been explaining the intricacies of taking selfies to her that day, and then whipped out his phone to demonstrate. She demanded that he delete it, because she thought she looked silly, but he'd kept it and sent her a copy, just for kicks. He was pretty sure she'd kept it too.

He scrolled through his phone, and his thumb halted over her name, and a sense of do or die came over him. _Would she even answer? Did she still even have the same phone on her? What if I'm bothering her?_

_But what if she needs to hear me as much as I need to hear her voice right now..._

That's what made the decision for him, and with a glance over his shoulder to ensure nobody was coming to look for him, he squeezed his eyes shut and gingerly put the phone to his ear.

_"Hi, you've reached Ziva David. I am sorry to have missed your call; please leave a message and I will get back to you-TONY STOP IT! I AM TRYING TO RECORD MY VOICEMAIL MESSAGE-" _he could hear his own laughter in the background, "_ANTHONY!" she shrieked._

Tony suddenly burst into laughter, almost causing the perfect coffee spit-take to take place. He hurriedly shut the call off, and scrubbed a hand over his face, still silently shaking with laughter. Any passerby would have probably thought him crazy if they looked. But he couldn't believe that she had actually kept it.

He had been at her place for a movie and some pizza, and having reached her voicemail earlier that day, Tony had informed her that she should change it from the irritating robot-voice default. She had tried a few times until she found a few lines of dialogue she was happy with, and once she had started her final attempt, Tony couldn't resist reaching out to tickle her...and that's how that happened.

It struck Tony that she had recorded that voicemail message some time before the ordeal with her father, and he realized that he hadn't been sent to voicemail anytime he had called her since...she'd always picked up, excluding the Bodnar fiasco, but he'd never listened long enough to hear the whole thing on those occasions...

_Well, damn._

He sobered up soon after that, and he honestly believed that he just might go crazy without her...and it hadn't even been a full week yet.

Thunder crackled overhead, and a few droplets began to form on his shirt, so he stood, but didn't quicken his pace as the torrents of water intensified. Instead, he let himself become nearly-soaked, and hell, maybe he was being dramatic, but it was amazing how fast his mood changed nowadays. He was almost indoors and completely drenched when he realized that he left both of the cups sitting together and untouched on the park bench.

Gibbs sent him home, and Tony glared. He had a change of clothes in his locker downstairs, but he wasn't in the mood to argue. He changed anyway, just to spite the man, but grabbed his things and left without so much as a goodbye to anyone, leaving a stunned McGee in his wake.

"He was really in love with her, wasn't he, Boss?" the younger man asked, still staring at the elevator doors that his teammate had just stormed through.

"Still is, Tim. Still is." came the reply.

Tony flopped down on the couch when he arrived home, and had a split second to be grateful that he'd gotten his window replaced before the storm when his pocket vibrated. With a sigh, he pulled his phone out, and his tired eyes glanced at the glowing screen before darting back quickly. He froze.

**_Incoming call:_**

**_Ziva David_**

* * *

**Drop me a review on your way out! Chapter 3 should be up maybe Tuesday/Wednesday-ish depending on my workload this week.**

**Oh, and this is important: I had planned to have a fluffy flashback in this chapter, but pushed it to the next chapter so this one wouldn't be too long, but I need to know what sort of cuddling position you guys prefer T&Z in. Spooning is fine, but I feel like everyone uses that, so I wanted to mix things up a little! Leave me a review or hit me up on Tumblr or something and let me know what y'all wanna see!**

**-Laura**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for all of the hits on this story! I'm totally blown away! I'm going to try and update 2-3 times a week, but it might be hard sometimes, because I'm an extremely busy bee! But I am dedicated to finishing this story, so keep up the support! It's been great motivation!**

**disclaimer: disclaimed bitches.**

* * *

_Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep_

_Dreaming about the things that we could be..._

_-OneRepublic_

* * *

_Tony flopped down on the couch when he arrived home, and had a split second to be grateful that he'd gotten his window replaced before the storm when his pocket vibrated. With a sigh, he pulled his phone out, and his tired eyes glanced at the glowing screen before darting back quickly. He froze._

_**Incoming call:**_

_**Ziva David**_

* * *

He stared at the phone screen so long that he almost missed the call completely.

"Ziva?" his voice cracked. _Is this for real?_

"Hi, Tony." Even though her voice sounded tired, it didn't fail to send chills down his spine. Her sultry sound got him every time. "I saw that you called earlier. Is everything okay?"

"Huh?" He was too overwhelmed to think. _Had she really been a phone call away all this time?_ "Oh, uh, no, no...everything's...everything's just peachy over here..."

"Why do I get the feeling you are lying?" he could almost see her smirking.

He sighed, and his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. "I miss you, Ziva."

"Tony..." she warned.

_I get the message loud and clear_, he thought bitterly. With another heavy sigh, he decided to change the subject. "Whatcha doin?"

"Lying in bed. It is past midnight here."

"Are..."_ Should I ask?_ "Are you still in Israel?"

It was her turn to sigh. "No, Tony. I am in Paris right now."

"Oh." was his reply. Images were flashing through his head at this point, of her, of them, of the glow of the Eiffel Tower outside their window as he held her, as she held him, images so finely intertwined that they played like a movie montage in his head. And Tony loved movies.

But sadly, movies weren't reality.

"Are you doing okay, Ziva? Are you...finding what you're looking for?"

A pregnant pause followed, and Tony held his breath. Then, "I am fine, Tony. And yes, things are starting to fall into the proper place. But, this is only the beginning." was her clipped response, but he could tell she was being honest.

"I'm happy for you." he replied, and he really was. If anyone deserved some inner peace it was her. A little smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

There was almost complete silence for a few moments, the only sounds coming over the other line was the faint noise of their breathing._ In, out, in, out._

It was almost enough.

_Almost._

"It is growing chillier outside every day here," she mused, "I am going to have to start layering soon."

Tony chuckled. _I remember how much she hates the cold..._

* * *

_"Why is this house so cold? You would think NCIS could provide safe houses that also protected our warmth." she noted bitterly, and clutched her sweater tighter around her shivering frame._

_"Probably because it's snowing outside, David." he remarked without looking up from the TV. _

_Ziva rolled her eyes. "Well, I grew up in a desert, Tony. There was no snow."_

_"You've been here for seven years!"_

_Ziva ignored his quip and flopped down on the couch next to him, instead choosing to discuss their current assignment. "Has Gibbs called with an update yet?"_

_This time, he faced her. "Yeah, he said to give it another night. He thinks Barber's gonna be out and about tonight, and wants us to stay here with Jones in case Barber gets any ideas about coming after him. Gibbs said we'd be fine though. McGee'll call if he sees anything on the cameras, but it's doubtful that anything's gonna happen. I guess that's his way of saying that we can get some sleep, since Jones is sacked out."_

_Ziva nodded in understanding. "If we do not freeze to death first."_

_Wordlessly, Tony stood and left the room, returning with the blanket from the bedroom. After situating himself in his same spot, Ziva scooted over to lean against him and let him drape the blanket over them._

_He couldn't help but grin inwardly when she snuggled against him, her head against his arm, and within fifteen minutes she was warm and sleepy. She didn't fight it when he protectively curled his arm around her, and pulled her against his chest, finally settling them against the arm of the couch. The couch wasn't too wide, so his chest became her pillow and their legs tangled under the blanket. Neither said a word, because the moment felt too wonderful to be true. Indulgence felt good._

_"G'night, Sweetcheeks," he whispered, and she smiled into his shirt._

_"Sweet dreams." she murmured in response. _

_They were asleep in a matter of minutes. Gibbs found them in the exact same position the next morning, but didn't say a word._

* * *

"...Are you still there, Tony?"

"I miss you," he blurted. "I miss you and I can't stand not being with you, and I can't...I can't sleep..." he was breaking.

She was quiet and it scared him, and he found himself clutching his phone to his ear until his knuckles turned white. He could almost hear the wheels turning in her head, and he wanted to kick himself for being so blunt. But it was the truth. He missed her more than anything. Hell, he had already lost her to the other side of the world, what more did he have to lose?

"I miss you too, Tony." she answered finally, and Tony let out the breath he had been holding. "And I need to get some sleep...I am exhausted. And you should probably get some dinner."

_No, no, NO! Don't go, don't hang up! I need you._

But instead, he found himself saying, "Okay. C-can I call you again?"

"Tony..."

"Never mind." he mumbled, playing the defensive. "I'll just let you do your thing. But Ziva?"

"Hmmm?"

"I don't want this to be our last conversation." He said hopefully.

"It will not be. I promise." she was serious again, but her next words were softer. "And Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"I hope you know how much I wish you were here."

"I could be."

"Tony...we talked about this. I thought you understood-"

"-I do. I really do. And I'm glad that things are starting to work out...I'm just...having a really hard time here, and..."

"It is hard for me too. But I have to do this...I have to become the best Ziva David I can be, the one I want to be, so that I can return to you whole, and leave the broken woman behind me. I cannot look over my shoulder for the rest of my life."

"I know. And I don't want you to. You deserve the world, Ziva, and I'll always be here, ya know. I can be whatever you need."

He couldn't see it, but tears had begun slipping down her cheeks.

"You are such a good man, Tony. Obnoxious at times..." she chuckled tearfully.

"...But that's why you love me." he teased, only realizing the weight of his words after they were out. _Damn it._

She cleared her throat. "Only when you are not behaving like a five year old." He could almost see her walls throwing themselves back into position.

"Yeah, well..." he trailed off, and the inevitable silence came. He couldn't stand it. "I'll talk to you later then, I guess." he bit out awkwardly, cursing the words almost as soon as they had come out of his mouth. But it had to be done. "Thank you for calling me back."

"Keep yourself out of trouble for me, okay? And get some sleep. You sound like you haven't slept in days." _If only she knew how right she was..._

"I will, Ziva. Goodnight."

"Bye, Tony."

"Sweet dreams," He murmured, and he heard her giggle before hanging up. "I love you," he whispered.

But all he heard was the dial tone.

One step forward, two steps back. But that's how it had always been with them. And oh, how he wanted that to change...

_Baby steps, baby steps._

* * *

**Chapter 4 on Saturday!**

**-Laura**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4...enjoy!**

**disclaimer: disclaimed.**

* * *

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_-Imagine Dragons_

* * *

The streets of Berlin bustled with activity, despite the midnight hour, and Ziva couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned over the stiff sheets of the hotel bed, plagued by the relentless torrent of nightmares that had returned for the first time in many months.

It was May and the weather was starting to warm up, but Ziva was cold. No matter how tight she pulled Tony's shirt around her or how many blankets she pulled on top of her, she couldn't help the shiver that she could now feel in her bones. Every time she closed her eyes it was a new face, a new demon in front of her, behind her, to the side...

She had done a good job of coming to terms with her past over the last few months, and she felt better for it, but why tonight? Why were the nightmares coming back now? Hadn't she buried them a long time ago, and vowed to never let them return?

_She saw Saleem. His beady eyes glinted and he swigged from his canteen, leaving a red sheen behind on his lips. He looked almost vampiric in the way he grinned wickedly, and a blade glistened in his hand, sharp and ready to be used. _

_"Oh Ziva, haven't you learned? You cannot hide from me..."_

_She could feel his hot breath on her neck, his hand gripped her upper arm too tightly, the sting of the blade on her neck..._

_"You cannot hide from me..."_

She jerked awake again, tangled in the sheets of the bed, and still shaking with cold. _Water. She needed water._

Ziva glanced warily around the hotel room for good measure, and then stumbled to the tiny bathroom. She gulped from a plastic bottle that stood readily on the counter, and blinked sleepily, trying to get oriented. Her hands grasped the cool granite counter top, and though she wanted to, she couldn't bear to look at herself in the mirror.

But she did anyway.

Her hair hung limply down her shoulders in loose waves, and there were dark circles sunken in under her eyes. She had promised herself that she would never look like this scared, lonely, haunted shell of a woman ever again, but here she was. On a road she'd traveled so far, she let herself be taken away again, right when she thought she was actually nearing the end.

_Why? Why was this happening?_

She straightened the covers on the bed again and tumbled underneath, thoroughly exhausted. Closing her eyes once again proved to be a mistake.

_"At lo levad," Tony whispered, and she snuggled into his embrace. His arms tightened around her, and his hand rubbed her back soothingly. _

_Safety. That's what he was. _

_And then he sagged against her, and his weight quickly became too much and they fell to the ground._

_"Tony!" she screamed, but his grasp was slackening, his skin turning cold. She pulled away from him, and his weakening hand clutched hers._

_"I'm sorry, Ziva," he whispered hoarsely, the red line on his neck growing, "It hurts..."_

_Blood began to trickle down his neck, and his hand fell away. "I can't do this anymore..." _

She bolted upright, tears gushing down her cheeks. Without thinking, she grabbed for her phone...

* * *

Tony was hoping to finish the rest of his work soon and call it a night, and a yawn escaped from his mouth without warning. Gibbs shot him a glare from across the bullpen, and Bishop glanced at him worriedly. He shrugged off the weight of their glances...he didn't care anymore.

With a flourish of his wrist, he dated the last piece of paper and tossed the pen aside with a sigh. _Finished._

He spared a glance to the picture frame tucked in the corner of his desk, by his light. With a small, tired smile, his fingers reached up to trace her face for the millionth time that week, but almost immediately heard Gibbs clear his throat.

"Finished, DiNozzo?"

"Yeah Boss. Just did." he replied, and let his eyes linger on her beautiful, smiling form for a few seconds more, before hauling himself up from the desk and making his way over to Gibbs with his case report.

Gibbs started to say something to him once he handed the report over, but Tony was distracted by a sudden vibration in his pocket. He pulled out his cell curiously, and he froze.

"DiNozzo? DiNozzo! Where the hell are you going?!"

But Tony ignored him and quickly fled the bullpen, simultaneously answering the call and lifting the phone to his ear. It had been months. _Months._

He took refuge in the little alcove behind the stairs, and leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath before greeting, "Ziva?"

"Tony."

Something was off. Her voice was all wrong...he could tell just by the way she had uttered his name.

"Ziva? I'm here."

He heard her suck in a deep, shuddering breath.

"Are you okay?" he asked. He had to know. Something was definitely wrong.

"Tony...they're back..." her voice cracked, and Tony's heart broke. _She was crying._

"The nightmares?" he ventured.

"Yes." she sniffed.

Tony was silent for a moment. How was he supposed to respond? Where was she? This was the first time he had heard her voice in months and she was sobbing...how was he supposed to deal with that?

"...Tell me what happened." he answered, and he heard her suck in a breath.

"Saleem. It is always him...oh, Tony, please tell me that you are alright..." She was hyperventilating.

"Ziva, I'm perfectly fine, I promise, okay? I'm at the Navy Yard right now...just finished up some work. Please sweetheart, take a deep breath for me, alright? I'm safe. You're safe. And I'm here." he hoped that was sufficient. The few times he had been with her when the nightmares had gotten the best of her, it had been easier to hold her close and whisper sweet nothings in her ear to calm her down. A phone call was different. "Deep breaths," he crooned again.

"I-I-I'm t-t-trying."

"Where are you, Ziva?" he was even more concerned now.

"Berli-i-i-n." she was struggling to be coherent.

Tony's eyes fluttered closed. _Berlin._

"H-he killed you, T-Tony," she stuttered, and Tony felt a tear slip down his cheek. _Oh, Ziva..._

"Has this been happening a lot?" he asked. Had she been going through this alone the entire time?

"This i-is the f-first since you...you left..."

His heart broke for her.

"I-I thought I was d-doing good, but-"

"-I'm sure you were doing great, Ziva." he reassured. "This happens to the best of us, ya know?"

"It was s-so bad," she whispered. "The w-worst it's ever been."

"What do you need, Ziva? Name it, and I'll make it happen."

"You, Tony.._.I need you_."

* * *

**So, things are heating up...hmmm...drop me a review on your way out. Will he go? Will he stay?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Holy mother of God. . . . . Thank you so much! It seriously motivates me to know that I have so many people enjoying this! The reviews I get make my day, so please don't hesitate to send in some more! Without further ado, here's Chapter 5!**

**disclaimer: disclaimed.**

* * *

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

_'Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't wanna go home right now_

_-Goo Goo Dolls, "Iris"_

* * *

_"What do you need, Ziva? Name it, and I'll make it happen."_

_"You, Tony. _I need you._"_

* * *

Tony inhaled deeply, and he could faintly hear the rasps of her shaky breathing over the line. His eyes quickly flicked up, meeting Gibbs's icy blue ones. He didn't know how long the man had been there, but he'd felt his presence enter the room some time ago.

"Are you sure? Because this is gonna change things." he answered honestly, and clutched the phone anxiously.

"_Please._"

He had rarely ever heard that sentiment spill from her lips, and now he knew why. The helplessness, the guilt, the _fear_...it was all there, and it shouldn't have been, because that _wasn't Ziva._ She never asked, never begged, never _pleaded_ with anyone, and the fact that she had decided to start while currently continents away from him scared him almost as much as it scared her.

"Okay." he whispered. "Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can."

* * *

The Berlin airport was noisy and hot, and Tony tried his best to navigate through the jabbering Germans without being downright rude. But if pushing people down was what it would take to get to her quicker, then so be it.

His heart dropped when he reached the end of the baggage claim area and there was no sight of her; Ziva David was never late. Green eyes scanned the bustling crowds for the familiar chocolate colored curls and the glowing tan skin, but he saw nothing. They had agreed to meet there after his plane landed at six, and it was now nearing six-thirty...

_Where is she?_

Just as he began to fish in his pocket for his phone, he felt a warm pair of arms snake around his middle, a chin on his shoulder, _a familiar warm breath on his neck_.

"Sorry I am late," was whispered into his ear, and a grin filled his face.

He turned in her arms and there she was, looking exactly how he left her, but somehow ten times more beautiful.

_"Ziva."_

His own arms twined themselves around her waist, and his forehead rested itself against hers. She smiled.

"The line at the bathroom took forever," she explained.

It took Tony a few seconds to absorb what she had said, for his eyes had become so lost in her own that everything around them had ceased to exist. With one look he remembered why he had fallen so hard in the first place..._there it was._

Connection.

Depth.

Warmth.

Safety.

_Love._

"S'okay..." he heard himself respond in a voice that didn't sound like his own, because the more he looked at her and the more she looked at him, the closer their faces became and the more time seemed to slow...

_She initiated. He followed._

Her lips were warm and soft and everything he remembered and it felt so _right_, despite their location in the very public, very crowded, luggage claim center. Just as one hand pressed lightly against the small of her back and the other went to her hair, she pulled away ever so slowly with that same desire-fueled look in her eyes.

"I am never going seven months without you again." he whispered, and pressed another quick, chaste kiss on the lips before grabbing her hand in one of his own, while the other took hold of his suitcase handle, each wearing identical smiles.

* * *

They stopped at a restaurant on their way to Ziva's hotel, because it was past dinner and Tony was jet-lagged and starving. She caught him up on her travels and he regaled her in some of his latest kick-ass crime-solving, and they left feeling lighter and happier than they both had in a long while.

Falling into bed was the first thing on Tony's mind when they arrived at the room, but when Ziva clutched his shirt in her fists and dragged his mouth down to hers, sleep suddenly wasn't as important.

"Mmnh, Zivv..." he mumbled. "...so impatient."

She flashed him a dazzling smile, but slowed her hands when they reached the buttons of his shirt.

* * *

She wasn't paranoid about falling asleep. Sated, sweaty, and snuggly, she shifted under the covers to curl more fully against the sleeping man beside her. _He had come. He had really come. _

A nightmare had dragged Tony DiNozzo across the world, and his presence alone was enough to obliterate them, and that was something Ziva was still trying to wrap her mind around. The complexities of the feelings she had for him, the _attraction,_ the unconditional _love _she felt every time her eyes fell upon him...it was a unfathomable puzzle, but she wouldn't mind putting the pieces together until she got it right.

She watched him breathe, watched his chest rise and fall, admired how his hair had gone from sex-head to bed-head in the matter of minutes they had been laying still. The arm looped around her was strong, and she could almost feel it driving away the things that haunted her at night.

Her fingers traced his arm carefully. _Was he real?_ She was so focused on her task that she almost didn't feel him nuzzle his face further into her neck and his arm pulling her closer, until they were chest to chest.

"...That tickles." he murmured, and her palm went flat against his arm.

She continued to watch him as he quickly traveled back to dreamworld, and felt her own eyes getting heavy, but she pulled on his arm nonetheless.

"Wake up, Tony." she whispered, and she watched him frown.

"Naww it's nighttime..." he mumbled.

_"Tony." _her voice was clear, and her order cleared. His eyes flicked open immediately, his gaze curious.

"S'everything okay?" his voice was laced with the remnants of sleep, and Ziva found it adorable.

"Yeah."

"No bad dreams?"

"No..."

"Well then why-"

"-I just wanted to say..." she trailed off, having locked gazes with him again. "I just wanted to tell you that I love you."

* * *

**Yayy, they've been reunited! And if you think this story has come a long way in a short time, you might wanna think again...there's still a long way to go! I'll update sometime this weekend, so look out for Chapter 6!**

**-Laura**


	6. Chapter 6

**Guys. Seriously. My inbox has been blowing up nonstop since the last post! You guys really don't understand how happy and how eager to write it makes me when I see every thing from simply the words "Please continue!" to a paragraph gushing about how wonderful this fic is! I'm actually extremely honored and flattered that so many people wish that this is how the show should've gone, and they wish this is how the show's writers would've done the job. I hope that this chapter lives up to the hype!**

**Now, a fair warning before this begins: It's not always going to be rainbows between these two, never has been, never will be, and like I mentioned at the end of the last chapter, this story is far from over. But please, always keep in mind, that Tiva is the endgame here.**

**disclaimer: my disclaimers bring all the boys to the yard.**

* * *

_Maybe I'm in the black, maybe I'm on my knees_

_Maybe I'm in the gap between the two trapezes_

_But my heart is beating and my pulses start_

_Cathedrals in my heart_

_-Coldplay, "Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall"_

* * *

_"I just wanted to tell you that I love you."_

A wide, sleepy smile crept across Tony's lips, and his hand came up to cradle her face. His thumb traced the soft plane of her cheek, her temple, her chin, and her smooth, velvety lips. Her eyes softened with each brush of his finger, and then the finger became his warm hand, brushing her caramel hair away from her face, and then smoothing it out against the stark white pillow behind her.

She was so...pretty.

His hand eventually returned to its spot, delicately cupping her flawless face, and he finally spoke.

"You are...everything," he whispered. "to me."

A tear slipped out from the corner of her eye, followed by another, then another. His thumb caught the drops a gently cast them away, before bringing her face closer.

His kiss was soft and sweet, and when he pulled away, she tucked herself further into him and refused to let go.

"And Ziva?"

"Hmm?" she murmured.

"I love you too."

* * *

"How much time off did Gibbs give you?" She asked the next afternoon.

They were strewn about the sofa, Tony lazily flipping through the German TV channels, and Ziva with her head in lap while his free end toyed with the ends of her hair.

"You won't like the answer." he replied, and her eyes flicked from the grainy TV screen to his face, her eyes narrowing.

"How long, Tony?"

Tony sighed. "Five days."

She was silent.

"I know..." Tony rambled. "When I got your call, he followed me, so he kinda heard everything, but I think he understands, ya know? He got that weird, all-knowing Gibbs glint in his eye...kinda like Dumbledore in the first Harry Potter movie when he knew Harry was using the Invisibility Cloak to get around..." he trailed off. "I'm sorry, Ziva. It was either be here for five days or not at all. He wasn't too pleased that I was running off in the middle of a case."

She took a minute to study him, and eventually her gaze softened.

"Well, I am glad that you came."

"Me too."

More silence.

_Should I even ask?_ Tony wondered. For him, the quietness of the room, despite the crackly television, was weighted. He wasn't sure if it was even worth having a conversation over, because the last time he tried, he'd lost her. And now she was finally in his arms, and he didn't want to ever let her go.

And that's why he took the plunge. For _them_.

"You know...you could just come back with me. We wouldn't have to worry about a "see ya in a few months" or "Skype you when I land" or anything like that." He left out "facing a tearful goodbye" on purpose...there no way in hell was he every saying goodbye to her again.

He bit his lip while he watched her inhale slowly.

"You know I want to." she replied quietly, and Tony closed his eyes and let his head hit the back of the couch in defeat.

"Fine. Forget I even brought it up." he muttered bitterly, and Ziva shot into a sitting position.

"Do not even go there, Anthony." she cautioned, her voice fifty shades of warning.

"Well gee," he threw up his hands in mock surrender. "I'm so _sorry_ if the only thing I want in life is for the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with to actually live under the same roof as me. Hell, I'm sorry for even wanting you to be in the same country. Or maybe even keep in touch every few weeks, instead of a few _months._" He didn't realize how much his voice had risen until he saw the pain in her eyes, and the embarrassed sadness on her face.

_Crap, I've really done it now..._

"Look, I'm sorry for yelling, okay?" he tried to even his tone the best he could, but when he saw her bite her lip to try and keep her tears back, he took her hands. "And I'm so glad that you've been taking time to learn to love yourself again and be that person you've always wanted, but I...I don't know how much longer I can deal without you with me. I don't mind chasing you around the world, Ziva, but for once, can we stop running?"

She was refusing all eye contact now, instead choosing to observe the worn fabric of the beige sofa. His larger, warmer hands tightened around hers.

"Please, _look at me_." he begged. And his heart just about broke when he saw her eyes.

"I...I just can't do anything right, can I?"

"Ziva-"

"I go on and try to become better for you," she continued. "but all it does is hurt you and the others and I...I am just so tired of breaking everything I touch." Then came the tears.

He pulled her to straddle his lap, and her head fell against his chest. Strong arms wound around her protectively, and he held her for God-knows how long.

"Hey," he pulled her back a little so she could look at him. "You aren't destructive. You don't break everything. You sure do know how to give a guy a hell of a hard time, that's for sure," he smiled a little. "but you haven't broken me."

She sniffed and let him wipe away her tears for the second time since he'd arrived.

"I just don't want my past to get in the way of our future." she said, and he nodded.

"And that's understandable. I _want_ you to be happy with yourself. But, if it's any consolation, I love you even more for your past, your present, and wanting the best for our future. I love every single scar on your body, because my girl is a _fighter._ And you know why we fit? Because I'm a fighter too. I'm gonna fight for you, for _us_, because we deserve it. I can help you be that person you want, I can help you be happy, because Sweetheart," he brushed a strand of hair from her eyes, "without you, I'm anything _but_ happy."

She was quiet for a good long time after that, and did nothing but look at him. Tony was scared because he didn't know whether she was retreating back into her shell or fighting her way out of it and she just needed to _say something._

"Ziva, what are you thinking right now?"

"I...I am not sure." she replied honestly, and Tony nodded.

"Would you like me to...?"

"No." she withdrew her hands from his. "I just need...I'm..." she shut her eyes to concentrate because his eyes were just _too damn loud_. "I'm going to go take a walk." she decided, and Tony nodded again, numbly.

Slowly, she stood and retreated to the bedroom to pull on her shoes and a sweater to go over his shirt, before passing back through the living room. Tony still sat on the couch in the same position she had left him. Her hand was on the doorknob when she heard his voice.

"Ziva?" she turned. "Come back, okay?"

A small smile graced her lips, Tony heard her footsteps quickly approach him before she pressed a small, fleeting kiss to his lips.

"I promise," she whispered, and then she was gone, and Tony was left with the echo of the door shutting, a Star of David in his pocket, and time to think while he awaited her return.

* * *

**She'll come back, don't worry! Tony needs her, she needs him, but Ziva...Ziva just has a lot on her plate, and as someone who's been in positions similar to her and echoes her personality in many ways, I can honestly say that time and space can heal most wounds, but there are people who love you and will gladly help you heal the rest. Keep that in mind.**

**-Laura**


	7. Chapter 7

**I can't even think of the words to describe how thankful and grateful I am to have the giant amount of support and kind words that I've been receiving! Y'all are gonna get tired of me opening every chapter this way, but get used to it, because every favorite, follow, and review I get makes me crazy excited!**

**Now, on with Chapter 7!**

**disclaimer: disclaimed.**

* * *

_Darling, I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

_-Christina Perri, "A Thousand Years"_

* * *

She didn't go for a walk.

Ziva _ran_.

The pounding of the blood in her ears and the slapping of her shoes on the concrete filled her head, and it was all she could do the keep herself composed until her legs felt like jelly and her chest was heaving.

_It was all too much._

She passed_ families_, a husband and wife that glowed with the most radiant smiles she had ever seen, kids playing in the park, kids running with a dog, and their joy, their laughter, their _happiness_ echoed around her, it slowed time like in the movies where she was the only one standing still. They moved around her, their giggles and shrieks surrounded her, and she wanted it. She _craved_ it. And here she was, with a man more than willing to give all of that to her, but she was _terrified._

She didn't know how far she had gone or where exactly she was, but there was a park bench ahead and not many people around, so she sat, and let the uncomfortable metal seat help her balance the weight of the world that she currently felt like she had to carry.

One tear. Two. More.

Elbows met knees and hands met face, and she succumbed. Why, she didn't know.

_Shouldn't I be happy? He's here, he wants me, why won't I let him?_

_Why won't I let him?_

She loved Anthony DiNozzo, that was for sure. He had proved time and time again that he would do absolutely anything for her, love her unconditionally, and she didn't know why. Why would anyone love her? Why would anyone want her?

_"Why wouldn't they?"_

Her head shot up, and she looked around frantically, her eyes darting around the deserted street, but she saw no one. It was all in her head...but she knew that voice.

And that was when she knew what she needed to do.

* * *

He watched the deep red liquid climb up the sides of the glass, and once he was pleased at the amount, Tony set the bottle aside, placed the glass just so, and stepped back to admire his handiwork. It wasn't much, but the impromptu picnic on the balcony would have to do. Food from the restaurant down the street, candles, a blanket from the closet...he was going to wine and dine Ziva David if it was the last thing he did.

The door opened when he was putting on the music, and he heard her footsteps in the hallway. _Thank God, _he murmured. It had been a few hours...

"Tony?"

"In here," he called, and greeted her with a grin. She looked windswept and just a little tired, and his smile widened just a little when she shrugged off her sweater to reveal his shirt underneath. She really knew how to wear that thing, and the thought made him happier than he should've been. He opened his mouth to ask her how the walk went, but suddenly her arms were around his middle and her head on his chest.

"I love you," she mumbled, and he frowned. She didn't strike him as the overly-mushy type. That was more his department.

"I love you too," he replied, confusedly, his arms going around her nonetheless. "Are you alright?"

Instead of answering, she hugged him for a little while longer before pulling away, and her hands fell to interlock with his.

"I am alright." she responded finally, and he nodded. But his eyebrows were still knit together, and was looking at her weirdly. Ziva sighed, "Really, Tony. I just..." she trailed off, because his green eyes were just so...deep and intense and he was looking at her with such concentration and focus...

He seemed to understand, and planted a kiss on her forehead before whispering, "I have a surprise for you."

* * *

They spent the rest of the five days together much like they spent their picnic date: laughing, dancing, drinking, and making love, and neither would have dared trade it for anything. It would have been almost honeymoon-like if there wasn't the _please come home with me_ glint in his eyes every time she looked at him. He was too good of a man to come out and say it, to continually beg her to leave with him, but with each passing day, with each kiss, with each _touch_, it became louder and clearer and more insistent and she could tell that now it was all he could think about.

It was inevitable that the elephant in the room would have to be addressed, and as the hours ticked down, and his bag was packed and ready for the next morning's early flight out, he finally cleared his throat. And Ziva knew exactly what he was about to say.

"Ziva," he started.

"Tony, I have something I need to do." she bit out, a little harsher than she intended. She switched her position on the bed so that she lay on her back, instead of snuggling in his embrace. She needed to be strong.

He exhaled loudly, but rolled over and took her hand. "Alright."

"Alright?" she was shocked. She looked up at his face, which was now hovering over hers. "Really?"

"No," he replied honestly, "but, I wanna know where you're going."

"Israel." she said, and his eyebrows rose.

"I thought you weren't going back."

"Things...have changed." She had him curious now.

"Okay..."

"Good things, Tony." she reassured, and squeezed his hand for good measure. "I need to visit my mother one last time."

And he understood. Or seemed to, judging by his expression change. "Okay." his lips brushed her temple. "Okay."

"I might visit Aunt Nettie as well. But after that...after that, Tony..."

"You're comin home to me?"

"I am coming home to you."

And that's all he could've asked for.

* * *

**So yes, this was a tad shorter than the other chapters, but it was necessary. From here the plot will thicken a little, so be prepared for that! Let me know what you think about this chapter, for some reason I'm a little nervous about posting it!**

**-Laura**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello all, sorry it's been a few days. I've been extremely busy this past week; producing music videos are no joke. But the reviews on my last chapter had me smiling all week! I hope this chapter makes up for not updating as regularly as normal. And this story is almost at 100 reviews! And I haven't even written 10 chapters yet! That's incredible! I wonder if we can reach 100 with Chapter 8! Enjoy!**

**disclaimer: disclaimed**

* * *

_And sing, slow it down_

_Through chaos as it swirls_

_It's us against the world_

_-Coldplay, "Us Against The World"_

* * *

The cemetery was quiet, the air crisp, and the Israeli woman was knelt reverently in front of a small, weathered slab of marble that had recently been adorned with fresh flowers. Ziva's thin, slender fingers reached out to trace the letters that had been carved into the stone.

_Rivka David_

Her head bent then, as she drew her hand back from the cold letters, and her lips moved in silent prayer. She regretted not visiting the last time she had been to her mother-country, and in her heart she knew that this would be the last time she set foot on Israeli soil. And because that was the case, she wanted to say goodbye to her mother.

Minutes later she stood, her muscles aching from being stuck in the same spot for so long. Her hands slipped into her jacket pockets while she walked away, a habit she had picked up in America.

_America._

She glanced back over her shoulder once, quietly admiring how the setting sun hit the tombstone just right. It was eerie and beautiful at the same time, and she felt a lone tear slip down her cheek as she righted herself and continued on.

* * *

"How was your afternoon, dear?"

Ziva looked up from her bowl of soup at the plump old woman, who had finished bustling around in the kitchen and joined her with a bowl of her own. Nettie was peering at her over her glasses inquisitively, and soon Ziva found her small hand enclosed in a fragile, wrinkled one.

"Are you alright, child?"

Ziva's eyes flicked up to the older woman's concerned face and she sighed. "Not really." She could tell that Aunt Nettie wanted to press further so she swallowed another spoonful of the warm soup and opened up. "I miss him, Aunt Nettie."

She watched Nettie's lined face softened at her confession, and she squeezed Ziva's hand. "Well then, why are you here and not in America with...Tony, I assume?"

A small smirk slipped across Ziva's lips.

_"Listen dirt bag, this is Ziva's husband! I have your phone number now and I can find your address. If you ever try to contact her again I will reach down your_

_throat, grab your intestines, rip them out, and drive over your head! Lose this number or lose your life!"_

_He snapped the phone shut with a flourish and handed it back to her with his trademark grin. "You're welcome."_

_She was frozen in place, her face one of incredulity and disbelief. "...That was Aunt Nettie from Tel Aviv...she was trying to stop seeing her eighty year old mahjong partner."_

_Tony's face turned to one of sheer horror. "Why didn't you stop me?"_

_"Too stunned." she still was._

_"Where do I send flowers?"_

_"If you communicate with her again, I will kill you!"_

She was pulled from her memory by a light squeeze on her hand.

"Are you in love with him, Zivaleh?" she smiled knowingly.

"Yes." No hesitation. She didn't even have to think about the three letter word that tumbled from her lips.

"And does he love you?"

"Yes."

The two women were silent for a moment, each with a similar smile on their faces, each in their own thoughts until Nettie spoke. "I received a lovely bouquet of flowers from one Anthony DiNozzo several years ago," she mused. "along with a thoughtful letter apologizing for his words on the phone. I must say, I have never laughed so hard!"

A chuckle escaped Ziva's lips, "That...that sounds like Tony."

Nettie bubbled with laughter, and patted Ziva's arm before taking another mouthful of soup. "Will you tell me about him, Ziva? I would very much like to hear more about the man who has captured your heart."

The corners of Ziva's mouth curved upward at her words, and she reached into her pocket for her phone. Her thumb found the on button, and the screen lit up, prominently displaying her background picture, which consisted of her and Tony: him hugging her from behind, her holding the phone, his chin on her shoulder, her relaxed into him, and identical grins on both of their faces. They had taken the picture the day before he had left for the airport the second time.

"He is quite handsome," cooed Nettie.

"He is, isn't he," she smiled in spite of herself and traced his ridiculously photogenic face with her thumb lovingly before pocketing her phone once again. "I think you two would get along very well."

"Why do you say that?"

Ziva chuckled to herself. "Tony...he is a goofball. He never fails to make someone smile." her eyes cast themselves downward to her soup, and she began trailing the spoon through the liquid as she spoke. "And he is extremely loyal...passionate, and he..." she paused and glanced up at Nettie, who was glowing.

"_He _what, Zivaleh?" and Ziva smiled.

"He makes me happy." she concluded, and Nettie chuckled.

"Well, he sounds like quite a man! But I will ask my question again: why are you here, instead of America, being happy with Tony?"

Ziva was quiet, the only noise coming from her spoon hitting the side of her bowl every now and then, and Nettie peered at her concernedly. "I...I am scared, Aunt Nettie. I am terrified."

Nettie's hand closed around her wrist with surprising strength, halting the movements of her spoon. "You are afraid of losing him, yes? Afraid of letting yourself accept his love and put your trust in someone other than yourself?"

Ziva nodded, and began worrying her lip between her teeth.

"Have you talked to him about this?"

She nodded again. "He assured me that he was not going anywhere, but..."

"You are familiar with those promises being broken." her aunt finished for her, and to both of their surprise, a lone tear trickled down Ziva's cheek. "Your mother would want you to be with him, Ziva." she murmured softly, and she carefully wiped the tear from Ziva's cheek, as if she were a child again.

"I...I have cried so much lately."

"Because you are finally allowing yourself to _feel._ And love? Love is overwhelming sometimes, child," she explained calmly. "And no matter how much you love the other person, the road can still be dark. But do not do something you will regret, like spending your days away from him when you could be having the time of your life."

Ziva eyed her inquisitively. "Are you speaking from experience?"

"In a way," she mused. "I watched your father immerse himself in his work, thinking that it was his duty, and that duty came before his family. I watched you miss out on so many things growing up, and my heart still aches for you. You wanted to dance."

"But it is too late for that," Ziva replied glumly.

"Yes, maybe it is...or maybe it isn't. That is for you to decide. But dear, please remember that you have Tony. If he really is the man you claim him to be, the one to make you happy, your soulmate, then he will want to help. _You are not alone_."

The spoon slipped from her fingers, and clattered against the side of her bowl as the familiar words resonated in her mind. _At lo levad._

"What if I do not know? What if I am not ready yet?"

"Then you will stay here with me until you figure it out," she asserted. "And Tony will understand."

"But he wants me to come home with him," Ziva replied, "And I know I hurt him by staying here."

"What do you expect? The man is in love with you, Ziva. He is supposed to be upset about not being with you. In fact, I would be afraid if he wasn't!" a small smile made it's way across Nettie's face. "But deep down, he knows what you have to do, child. He may not like it, but he understands."

"How can you know what he feels?" a look of disbelief crossed Ziva's face.

"Is that your shirt Ziva, that you are wearing?" Nettie asked, and Ziva glanced down at the worn fabric, shaking her head slowly.

"It is Tony's...it has always been his favorite."

"Where is your necklace, Ziva?" and Nettie knew she had finally gotten through to her. "The one you would never take off?"

Ziva gulped in realization. "Tony...He has it."

"And why does he have it?"

"Because...I gave it to him."

A full-fledged grin shone on Nettie's face. "Exactly."

* * *

**Aaaand done! Hope y'all liked Aunt Nettie. We might see her again. Let me know what you thought of this! Look out for Chapter 9! Things will begin to get heavy next chapter, so be prepared.**

**-Laura**


	9. Chapter 9

**Wowzas! We passed 100 reviews! Y'all don't know how amazing that makes me feel, especially after a crappy day like this one. Anyway, the plot will begin to thicken a little in this chapter...Ziva has some news for Tony. But remember: Tiva is endgame.**

**disclaimer: disclaimed.**

* * *

_So far away from where you are _  
_These miles have torn us worlds apart _  
_And I miss you, yeah I miss you _  
_And I wish you were here_

_-Lifehouse, "From Where You Are"_

* * *

Ziva curled up on the lounge chair on Nettie's back porch, her laptop currently obstructing her view of the sparkling blue ocean in front of her, but she didn't mind. Her Skype window was the most important thing to her at the moment, and as soon as Nettie shuffled through the back door and plopped down next to her, steaming cup of tea in hand, Ziva pressed the call button.

"He will most likely be asleep, Ziva." Nettie pointed out. "It is probably almost three in the morning in Washington D.C."

"He won't mind." Ziva smiled, and laughed when Tony's sleepy face and bed head appeared on her screen.

"Ziva!" his face immediately lit up. "Hi!"

"Sorry to wake you up, Tony. But Nettie wanted to see you." Ziva greeted, her voice laced with the biggest grin.

"Oh, hush!" Nettie slapped her arm playfully. "You were the one who wanted to call him so desperately!"

Ziva laughed, and Tony's eyes shone.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. David." Tony ducked his head in greeting, and Ziva had to laugh. Anthony DiNozzo was still 100% charm, even when half-asleep.

"Call me Aunt Nettie, Child. Everyone does," Nettie beamed. "And I must say, you are much more handsome in person."

"Mmh, he is," Ziva smirked, and Tony mirrored it.

"So...how've you been?" he questioned, and Ziva watched him get comfortable on his couch.

"I have been...great, actually," she remarked, surprising even herself.

"Well...that's great." he replied, knowing that there was more to the story, but he was willing to wait.

"What have you been up to?"

Tony chuckled. "Ahh, nothing interesting. Work, few hours of sleep, get up and do it again. Missing you though."

"And I, you."

Nettie cleared her throat, and it was then that they both realized that their eyes hadn't left each other since the beginning of the conversation.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Tony, but I'll leave you alone with Ziva now," Nettie said with a knowing grin, and patted Ziva on the shoulder before hobbling back inside. As soon as she heard the door close, Ziva relaxed back into the cushions.

"I like her," Tony remarked, and Ziva snickered.

"You are all Nettie has been talking about for the last three weeks I have been here."

Three weeks. Had it really been that long?

"How are you doing really, Ziva?" he asked, growing serious now. "You didn't wake me up at three a.m. For nothing, huh?"

Ziva sighed. He knew her so well; a blessing and a curse all in one.

"I have started dancing again." she stated, and he nodded, encouraging her to go on. "And I feel...like I have found a piece of me."

Tony smiled. "I'm happy for you."

"Really?"

"Yes," he insisted, and leaned forward into the camera a little. "Why wouldn't I be happy for you? And plus, you being a dancer is all kinds of hot." he waggled his eyebrows jokingly.

Ignoring the innuendo, Ziva eyed him quizzically. "I do not know, Tony. Forget I asked."

All traces of jest melted from Tony's features then. She was beginning to worry him. "Ziva, talk to me, sweetheart."

"It is nothing Tony, I promise." she reassured, even though she knew Tony wasn't convinced.

He decided to let it slide for now. "So, dancing. Tell me all about it. And nice shirt by the way. Do you ever take that thing off?"

Pink tinged her cheeks. "Rarely." Tony grinned. "Anyway, the studio I went to when I was much, much younger is closing, so I have been able to slip in at night and play all of my old records."

"Sneaky ninja." Tony shook his head. Leave it to Ziva to break into her old studio just to dance in the cover of nightfall. She really was his own personal Bond girl.

"The owner was there the other night, and I talked with her for a long time...she remembered me from my lessons years ago with Tali. She even had these old pictures of us in the fluffiest pink tutus..."

"I have _got_ to see those. Something tells me they'll end up taped to our fridge when you come home." and the words were out of Tony's moth before he had even realized what he said.

Ziva didn't say anything, but his words made her heart deflate a little. _Our_ fridge. It made the next words she had to say ten times harder to utter.

"She offered me the studio, Tony. I could make it my own and teach little girls to dance..." she trailed off, and the look that flashed in his eyes felt like a knife in the gut. She hated doing this to him.

"Permanently?" he breathed out.

"No." she heard his sigh of relief. "I could never do that to you, Tony. But I think I might accept the offer," she threw up her hands to stop him from interjecting, "for now, Tony. Just for a little while...to see what it is like, yes? And then I can find someone willing to continue the studio when I leave. Tony, all of those little girls will not have any place to go if the studio closes. It is a place of refuge for many." _It was for me_, she thought, and hoped Tony understood the meaning this held for her.

He seemed to, but his nod was defeated looking. "How long, Ziva?" he choked.

"I do not know, Tony."

"Ziva, you promised-"

"-I AM COMING BACK, TONY." she yelled, shocking him into silence, and a few tears dripped down her cheeks. She watched him slink back into his couch cushions and made sure her tone was softer, more controlled this time. She dabbed at her eyes and continued. "Tony, I know it is a lot to ask of you, and I really did not intend for this to happen, but...this...this _opportunity_, Tony? This is something I will never find again. I have a chance to give thirty little girls what was taken from me, to give them a chance. Please, just _let me_."

She saw tear tracks on Tony's face as well, and she knew she didn't deserve him. But she needed this.

"Tony, if this is to much to ask of you, then you do not have to wait around for me." her tone was crisp, and his head shot up.

"Ziva David, I'm not leaving you, whether you like it or not." The firmness and sincerity of his voice shocked her. "But I need to know, is being away from me hurting you as much as it's killing me?"

Ziva breathed in slowly. "You have no idea." she whispered.

"Then you can understand how I'm feeling right now, huh?"

"Would it be better if I came home now?" she chanced.

He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and stifled a yawn. "No, probably not. I get where you're coming from, Ziva. And I'm really happy that you're taking this opportunity and I'm even happier that _you're_ happy, and it would be wrong of me to take it away from you."

"Thank you." she replied sincerely. "Tony, you do not know how much I love you."

"I do," he answered, a hint of a smile re-appearing on his worn face. "And I love you too. Don't be too incredibly long over there though, okay?"

"I won't. Now, you look like you are ready to hit the bag." She screwed up the idiom purposely because she wanted to see him laugh one more time.

He did, which made her smile. "Hit the sack, Ziva. And yeah...I gotta be at work in a few hours, but it doesn't matter. Talking to my girlfriend is a good excuse for being late, in my book." he smirked.

Ziva laughed at the obscurity. "Get some rest, Tony. I will talk to you in a day or two, alright? And I will save the photos for _our_ fridge."

Tony chuckled. "Alright, Sweetheart. I'll talk to ya later."

"Bye." she gave him a sad, but hopeful little wave before the call was disconnected, and she couldn't help but feel a little lighter as she trudged inside.

* * *

**So yes...here we go. Next chapter is gonna deal with some drama involving both Gibbs and McGee, for unrelated reasons. That was actually supposed to take place in this chapter, but I decided to wait, cause I'm evil like that :D Drop me a review on the way out, and Chapter 10 should be up in the next few days, as usual!**

**-Laura**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello everyone! Thank you so much for the feedback on the last chapter. I know a lot of you are upset by another delay on Ziva's end, but trust me, it's necessary. I meant to post this chapter yesterday, but I've just had a terrible loss in my family, and things are a bit bad lately. I will continue to post this story though, so don't worry about that. The continued support makes me smile, and it's made this week a little easier. I do hope this chapter is okay; I didn't proofread before I posted because it's late, so I'm sorry for any little mistakes! Enjoy Chapter 10!**

**disclaimer: whatever.**

* * *

_Oh, these times are hard_

_Yeah they're making us crazy_

_Don't give up on me baby..._

_-The Script, "For The First Time"_

* * *

He tossed back his second coffee of the morning with as much gusto as he could possibly manage on a night of little sleep (due to the emotionally draining video chat a few hours before) and hoped that the way too chipper Probie currently entering the bullpen wouldn't notice his obvious discomfort.

"You're late, Tim." he pointed out, and to his disgust, the _'I just got laid!' expression _never left the man's face.

"Ellie and Gibbs aren't even here yet," he retorted, and practically _floated_ over to his desk.

Yep, definitely laid.

Tony scoffed. "Oh, _please_. You're always here way before any of the rest of the Earth has even waken up."

Tim's eager expression was fading with the decline in Tony's attitude, and his eyebrows furrowed as he watched the Senior Field Agent chug down the rest of his coffee followed by a practiced three-pointer into the trash can. It was almost like watching Gibbs.

"Tired, Tony?" he chanced.

"Naw, what makes ya say that?" Tony drawled, just as the elevator dinged again, signaling the arrival of their quirky blond counterpart.

"Mornin' everyone!" she greeted cheerily, and Tim's smile returned as he nodded his head to her.

But Tony's foul mood didn't escape Ellie's eye.

"What's a matter with you, DiNozzo?" she questioned, and Tony mumbled something that sounded like "'Mmh sleepy."

Ellie rolled her eyes, and any more chance at conversation was ruined by the arrival of their fearless leader, who began barking orders almost immediately. Tony sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face, and decided to chance a peek into his desk drawer to glimpse at the glittering golden necklace that would normally jumpstart his day, but instead was distracted by a most disturbing sight: a white pill bottle.

Now normally, a pain reliever here and there wouldn't be such an odd thing to see around their office, but the fact that a full bottle of medicine was currently in Gibbs' hand.

In his _hand_. Tony had never seen the man take so much as a Tylenol before, but here he was, swallowing down a capsule with a swig of coffee like no one was looking.

Tony blinked rapidly a few times, hoping that his own jumbled thoughts were cause for hallucination, but the only reassurance he received was a head slap and a "move it, DiNozzo" before his was forced to get off his ass and get moving.

* * *

That afternoon, Gibbs sent Tony and McGee out on an errand to scope out a potential body-dumping site, and Tony decided to use the forty-five minute car ride as an opportunity for a nap, but McGee's chatter prevented so much as a second of unconsciousness. Rather than listen to the details of the latest Deep Six novel outline regaled with an exuberance that was almost sickeningly passionate, Tony decided to divert the conversation.

"So Tim," he began. "did Delilah make you late this morning?" he smirked, and the reddening of the younger agent's cheeks gave him away before he even had a chance to defend himself.

"Um...no...I was gonna talk to you about that actually, Tony." Tony was awake now, and watched as Tim took a deep breath. "I'm gonna ask her."

"...Ask her...?"

"I am going to propose, Tony." McGee blurted, and Tony's jaw dropped.

"...R-really?" he stuttered.

"Yeah," McGee's smile returned. "I picked up the ring this morning. That's why I was later than normal."

"Nu-uh," Tony smacked him on the arm playfully, causing Tim to chuckle. "When are you going to ask, McPopTheQuestion?"

"Not sure yet," was McGee's reply. "Soon, I think, but not immediately. I have to decide on how I'm going to ask."

Tony thought for a minute, and soon a wide smile stretched across his face, something that hadn't happened in a while. "I've got it."

"Oh _God_." Tim murmured with an eye-roll for added effect.

Tony waited until Tim was stopped at a red light before divulging the Probie in his idea.

"It's a good idea, Probie," Tony clapped him on the shoulder. "Ask her in the dedication of your next book, and make sure she gets the first printed copy of it. She'd like that." he mused.

McGee stared at him a minute, before Tony gestured to the green light, and Tim chuckled incredulously. "That's...that's actually a really good idea."

"Did you really doubt me that much? I'm offended." Tony feigned shock, and McGee ignored him as he normally did, instead decided to soak in the possibilities of his new proposal game-plan.

Silence filled the interior of the Charger then, until McGee chuckled wistfully. "Ya know, I always figured you'd be the first of us to get married, Tony."

Tony's mouth went dry almost immediately. "Why?"

"Well," McGee fumbled, noticing Tony's sudden change in tune. "I mean...never mind."

Tony sighed, letting his head hit the back of the seat. Might as well address the elephant in the room before it got too much bigger.

"You figured I'd have gotten with Ziva."

McGee was quiet, afraid to agree and disagree. It was the first time he'd said her name in the months she had been gone.

"S'okay, Tim." he assured.

McGee sighed. "Yeah, Tony. A lot of people thought you two would...well, you know." He took Tony's silence as a cue to keep going. "I know you saw her about a month ago when you took that time off, but you never talk about it. But we're worried, Tony, and we don't know what's going on with you or her."

"It's fine." he murmured, and the words struck a dull chord with both of them. They both had heard that line many times before from the curly haired Israeli more times than they could count.

"Okay." McGee replied, ultimately deciding to drop it. Tony was stubborn, and if he was anything like Ziva, which he _was_, in that respect, McGee would get absolutely nowhere if he continued to pester the man. "Just know...we never got to say goodbye to her. And knowing that you've had contact recently is driving everyone crazy because we wanna help you, but we don't know how."

"I actually talked to her last night. Or this morning, rather." he bit out, and McGee's eyebrows rose. "A month ago she promised me that she would be home by now, but at about 3AM she informed me that it's gonna be longer."

Baffled, McGee uttered a simple, "Why?"

"She wants to dance, McGee. She's always wanted to dance. And now she's got a chance to, and as much as I want her here, I...I can't take that from her." Tony admitted, secretly glad that his sunglasses covered his eyes as he watched the cars pass them on the road. "She's had so much of her life taken by people who used her for their own selfish agendas, and when she Skype'd me...McGee, I've never seen her look so _peaceful_."

"You just wish she'd be peaceful here with you."

"Yeah."

* * *

The evening was dark and warm, and Tony was eager to get home and get to sleep. He was gathering his things in the dimmed bullpen, and after his eyes scanned the room, confirming that he was alone, he slid his desk drawer open and extracted the cool, golden chain. The Star fit perfectly in the palm of his hand, and the sappy part of his brain compared that to how perfectly Ziva fit by his side.

No further thoughts entered his head, for the appearance of his boss startled him. He watched the older man's brown eyes flick from his own tired face to the necklace in his hand.

"You leavin, DiNozzo?"

"Yeah, Boss. Just getting my stuff."

Gibbs eyed him warily. "Get some sleep."

Tony watched him turn to leave, bile rising in his throat.

"I'm not gonna stop thinking about her, Boss. I'm not gonna move on. She's coming home, and I'm going to be here waiting for her when she does."

Gibbs stopped in his tracks, and turned back on his agent, coming really close this time. His face was serious, and Tony wondered when his boss had gotten so _old_. "You want your own team one day, DiNozzo?"

Tony was taken aback. "I dunno, Boss."

"You've turned down several offers in the past few years. Don't think I haven't noticed."

"So?"

Gibbs stared him down, his eyes only moving once more down to the chain he clutched tightly in his hand before meeting his eyes again.

"Get some sleep, DiNozzo." he ordered again, and then left Tony staring after him, confused and just a little peeved.

His eyes traveled from the back of his retreating boss to his picture of her, and he traced her face with his finger fondly, like he normally did during the day before returning her necklace to the drawer. The faint outline of a five point star was visible in the palm of his hand.

* * *

**So, everything is getting a little heavier, ehh? Told ya it would happen, and it's not done yet. Next chapter should be up at least by Wednesday, but I'll try to get it done for Tuesday night...it all depends on crazy family stuff at the moment. In other news, I'm trying to keep an open mind about Ellie Bishop's introduction on the show Tuesday night, but it's hard, ya know? That desk will always belong to our ninja. Let me know what you thought of this chapter!**

**-Laura**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey y'all, I'm back. I'm really not in the mood for warm fuzzies right now, but I do want y'all to know that all of the feedback on the last chapter was wonderful, and the concern over my loss was greatly appreciated. I'm still struggling with it a little; yesterday was the funeral, (that's why I didn't update) because watching my grandma cry over my grandpa was one of the most painful things I've ever had to witness. But, enough about that. I'm not too happy with this chapter, because I was rushed writing it, but I felt like I owed it to y'all to update. There's some Tiva fluffiness in the beginning, so enjoy that.**

**disclaimer: disclaimed. all day, every day.**

* * *

_I'd rather run the other way than stay and see_  
_The smoke and who's still standing when it clears_  
_Everyone knows I'm in_  
_Over my head, o__ver my head_  
_With eight seconds left in overtime_  
_She's on your mind, s__he's on your mind_

_-The Fray, "Over My Head (Cable Car)"_

* * *

**[July 28, 2014]**

**6:13 p.m.**

**_Tony DiNozzo _**_has started a new message with_**_ Ziva David._**

**[Tony] **Hey! Sooo...I haven't heard from you in awhile. Every time I call or text your cell it says that the phone's been disconnected. Should I be worried? Anyway, I really just wanted to let you know that I love you and I'm thinking about you. Hope all's well! :)

**[Ziva]** Hi :-) I have been meaning to contact you for a while, but things have been busy! And yes, my phone is off. I will get a new one at some point, so for now, just message me here or call Aunt Nettie! So do not worry...you will get wrinkles!

**[Tony]** Wrinkles? Not for me sister.

**[Ziva]** Sister? That is a little awkward, don't you think? :)

**[Tony]** you know what I mean :D So, how are things? What are you up to?

**[Ziva] **I have been dancing :) I will hopefully open the studio soon!

**[Tony]** All of those little girls are gonna love you, ya know that? Are you happy?

**[Ziva]** Very. I feel...peaceful. It is nice, yes?

**[Tony] **I'm glad :) send me some pictures, okay? I'd love to see you in action.

**[Ziva]** okay :) How are you?

**[Tony] **Hungry.

**[Ziva]** of course you are...

**[Tony] **actually, Gibbs has kept us late tonight. I've worked through dinner for the second night in a row :(

**[Ziva]** Well, tell him that I said to let you eat, because you do not work when you are hungry, Tony.

**[Tony]** You know me so well, Sweetcheeks :)

**[Ziva]** That I do :) But really, how are you? It was obvious that you are incredibly...hurt...over this.

**[Tony]** I'm just glad that you're happy.

**[Ziva]** Tony...

**[Tony] **Ziva, I don't really wanna have this conversation again. I want you, and I'm keeping myself busy getting my apartment ready for two people.

**[Ziva] **are you asking me to move in with you?

**[Tony] **Honey, you don't have a choice :)

**[Ziva] **Okay :) I need to get the studio off the ground and then find people to keep it going for me after I leave. And then, I will be home with you, and everything will be how it is supposed to be.

**[Tony]** alright. Just as long as you're coming back for real...I think I can make it :D

**[Ziva]** Count to a million, Tony.

**[Tony]** every day, sweetheart. Every day.

* * *

Tony found himself in Abby's lab a few mornings later, which was, for once, devoid of any of the ear-busting noise she called music, and he was perturbed. The goth was hunched over a microscope, analyzed whatever fragment of this or that Ducky had sent up, but the red and white cup that had become a Labby staple was nowhere to be found. Instead, a clear plastic bottle of what Tony believed was water (with Abby, you never knew), sat on the table near where she was working.

"You alright, Abbs?" he asked, and Abby just shrugged. Tony studied her a minute, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Well, clearly you're not done yet, so I'm just gonna go back upstairs..." he spun on his heel, and when she didn't respond, he began making his way out. But, just as he stepped foot on the threshold, he heard a sob come from inside the lab, and he turned to see her shoulders hunched and her head in her hands.

_What the hell?_

He passed Ellie on the way to the elevator, and pulled her aside. "Hey, do you know what's wrong with Abby?"

The blond looked up at him, quickly extracting her arm from his grasp. "Umm, no. Didn't know anything was wrong."

"She's been crying."

"Oh..." Ellie thought for a moment and Tony could practically see the light bulb flash over her head as she comically snapped her fingers. "Oh! Has she heard that McGee's proposing to Delilah? That could be it."

"Geez, how many people has the Probie told?"

Bishop chuckled. "Not many. But I know that she likes him. And you never know, it could always be something else."

"It's just weird, ya know? She has _water._"

"Yeah. I'll keep an eye on her though." she assured with a nod.

Tony nodded and smiled a little. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Ellie grinned, and slipped past him.

* * *

The team was called into the field later, and naturally, a routine investigation turned into a serial killer investigation which morphed into hunting down a suspect, which put Tony, McGee, Bishop, and Gibbs on all sides of an old warehouse in the middle of nowhere at almost midnight. _Typical_.

This particular serial killer had a special penchant for little kids, and even the mere thought of it made Tony's stomach churn. He hated the bastard. Whoever the hell he was, Tony wanted to make sure he paid, because those crime scene photos...they were something that would plague his dreams for a long time...

Tony was stationed at the back door, waiting patiently for Gibbs's voice over the earwig to give him the go-ahead, and trying his hardest not to step on fallen leaves and broken branches. The night was still, the crickets croaked occasionally, and there was no wind, and it made Tony think. A little prayer circulated in his mind, something he found himself doing before a dangerous mission more often. It was never anything long or churchy, just a few words to get him by.

_Help me stay safe for her. _

He repeated it now in his mind like a mantra when he heard commotion inside the building, but remained rooted in place. _Help me stay safe for her._

Voices rose indoors. _Help me stay safe for her._

_"_Go_." _

_Help me stay safe for her._

Tony burst through the door, his eyes quickly surveying the dimly lit area, his gun at the ready.

"NCIS!" Gibbs yelled, and his voice echoed throughout the warehouse. "Drop your weapon!"

The two men, who were standing in the middle of the room, nose to nose and red in the face, let their guns clatter to the floor, and Bishop quickly kicked them away while Tim and Gibbs handcuffed. _Too easy._

"DiNozzo! You gonna join us?" Gibbs barked, but Tony stayed still, his eyes on the rafters and the loft above them. Ignoring Gibbs, he craned his neck and strained to hear over the grumbling of the two suspects.

He could have sworn that he saw something...heard something...footsteps. _Little_ footsteps.

Then, a shadow.

"Boss," he murmured quietly, and even though he was several feet from him, Gibbs heard and understood.

"McGee, Bishop, get these two to the car and watch 'em." he ordered, and McGee looked like he was about to protest. But one look from Gibbs showed him that this was clearly not up for debate, so McGee sighed, and he and Ellie reluctantly ushered the goons out of the warehouse.

The last thing McGee saw was Tony and Gibbs rushing upstairs before he pushed the grumbling idiot outside, and spared a glance at Bishop.

"-Arghhh...I didn't do nothin," Ellie's man moaned, and the other one elbowed him in the side.

"Shut it."

"You shut it!"

"Don't tell me to shut it asshole. This all your fuckin' fault man."

"My fault?! What tha hell you talkin' bout man?"

"I'm talkin' 'bout gettin' us caught!"

"Shut up!" Ellie snapped, and yanked open the door to the car.

The men snarled at each other as each agent shoved them, wisely, into opposite cars, making doubly sure that the doors were locked and the cuffs were tight.

"Ugh, they're giving me a headache." McGee groaned. The men had now resorted to shouting at each other from the cars, but their voices were muffled by the windows, creating nothing but garbled sounds.

"Me too. And I'm hungry." Ellie responded, and glanced back at the warehouse. "You think Tony and Gibbs are alright?"

"Yeah, they're probably fine. If they needed us-"

He was cut off by a loud sound that pierced the air, and his eyes grew wide. His head jerked to the side, searching Bishop's face and he immediately knew that they were thinking the same thing.

_Gunshot._

* * *

**Cliffhanger because I'm feeling lucky.**

**Next update will in the next few days; I won't leave you hanging for too long. Let me know what you thought about this chapter! **

**-Laura**


End file.
